Why Relationships Dont Last..!

Do you know how to make relationships last? Would you like to know the secrets to successful marriages? If you are searching for a relationship that goes on and on and endures throughout time, you need to consider the following points. There are four major predictors that determine which relationships will survive and which ones will not.

Why Relationships Fail: Four Predictors

The power of positive versus negative comments

People in failing relationships look for what is wrong with others (especially their mate) instead of what is right. During a conversation where the two people held opposing views, the ones who had a good relationship said something nice to the other one five times more than they said something critical. In relationships that don't last, the ratio of good comments versus bad ones to each other was one to one.

Accepting responsibility to be in a committed relationship

When one or both people don't take responsibility for their commitment and allow themselves to be attracted to others, they are in trouble. Some people feel there is nothing wrong with a little "harmless" flirtation. On the contrary, research shows that in every close conversation, there is the possibility of secreting oxytocin (a hormonal chemical) that creates a bond. These interactions can make people feel like they are falling in love. But people can consciously choose not to cross a boundary when they feel even slightly attracted to someone else. They can change their focus. They do not have to be a victim of this attraction.

Forgiveness

There is no "perfect" relationship and even the best ones will have some ups and downs, but is is how couples ride those rough times that determines if the relationship succeeds. People who are good at relating will try to repair any damage that is done in their partnership. They will offer apologies and make gestures to right what has caused hurt.

Attitude

Understanding that you need to teach others how to treat you in order to get your needs met will move you from the victim column into the winning column. There are, however, some attitudes that indicate a relationship will break up. The kinds of behavior that will erode closeness are contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

Why relationships don't last is profound but simple. You need two people who treat each other with love, affection, respect, and support, and have a commitment to each other. You deserve a love that lasts--so think about the above.

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TOP 10 Reasons Why BreakUp Is Good for you..!

10. Loss of Sleep
I don’t know about anyone else, but when I am upset, or have something I’m thinking about, it is impossible for me to shut my brain off, and therefore, I cannot sleep. But this can be a good thing. I have re-arranged my room, cleaned my house, organized my sock drawer, cleaned under my refrigerator, scrubbed every hard surface in my house, gone through my clothes for Good Will, and read two books. I mean, think of all that time I could have wasted sleeping, happily enjoying coupledom!?!

9. Lack of Appetite
Post-breakup is the perfect time to jump start that new diet! I mean, I constantly feel like I’m going to vomit and have no desire to eat anything anyways. And I am really liking the sunken hollow look in my face due to lack of sleep combined with malnourishment – it’s so Hollywood. I should have thought of this months ago! All this time I’ve been blissful cooking dinner with a special someone and eating – what was I thinking?!?

8. Taking Care of Yourself 
Every girl, and I have a feeling every boy, secretly wishes that the next time they run into their now “ex” they will look perfect and the other person will be insanely jealous. Come on, admit it, you know it’s true! So, to make sure this little wish comes to fruition, I’ve cut my hair, gone shopping, and taken up working out twice a day. No, no, no, it’s not because I trying to find something to do with my time – or I’m indulging in retail therapy. And it’s not because working out releases stress, I mean who’s stressed?? All this time I’ve been putting off waxing my eyebrows, silly girl!?!

7. Sappy Romance Movies – NO MORE!
After a breakup the last thing you want to do is sit and watch a sappy romantic comedy, wish you were watching it with your ex-sig-o, and cry yourself into oblivion. So instead you get to get caught up on all the other movies you’ve been missing out on because you’ve been so obsessed with l.o.v.e. My favorites are horror flicks, I like to watch them and pretend my ex is the first victim. Just kidding… kind of. But with some of the great masterpieces out there, how could I have wasted my time watching sappy love crap?!?

6. Pick up old Hobbies
With all this extra time on your hands, it’s the perfect time to start in on old hobbies you’ve neglected. I hadn’t been able to find time to drink myself into oblivion, flirt with random d-bags, or drunk dial old boyfriends to discuss life. I am really looking forward to being able to commit myself to those things I’ve neglected because I’ve been to busy having quite nights in for two. I can’t believe I chose that over the bar scene in Chico!?!

5. Lots of Dinner Dates 
Remember the old adage about falling off your bike and getting back on and trying again? Well, the only way to recover from a breakup is to get back into life and try again. So your girlfriends all convince you that you need to get dressed up and go out to dinner – like every night – even when you’d rather take your tired, sorry, dumped butt back to bed with your new lovers Ben… and Jerry – so that you can pay for ridiculously expensive meals that your not going to eat because your still nauseas’ (see #9). But hey, why would you want to be spending time with Mr. Wonderful when you can sit at a table feeling sorry for yourself while your friends all tell you you’re wonderful!?!

4. Lots of Alcohol 
Apparently, in today’s culture, we are expected to heal all our wounds by imbibing in drink. And my friends want to help me with that. So they have been dropping off alcohol by the case load. Literally. And those friends who are to far away to bring by a case of beer, or a case of wine (did you know you could buy wine by the case, because I didn’t) – well, they’ve showed they care by mailing it to me. And nothing screams, “I’ve just been dumped” like going to the post office to pick up a case of Bud Light – in a bottle, not a can!?!

3. Taking Up New Hobbies
To get your mind off of things, like dwelling obsessively over “what happened” or becoming neurotic and analyzing the minutest details of the relationship-failed – not that anyone would actually do this, I’m just saying… - it may be more healthy to pick up new hobbies to occupy your time. I’ve taken up training for the Olympics, everyone keeps telling me that drinking is a sport – and with all the alcohol I’ve had pushed in front of me the past couple of days, I’m sure I’ll be a gold medalist the next time around. I mean, why would I want to waste my time on some guy when I could be training for a gold medal in alcoholism?!?

2. Finding out Just How Cool Your Friends Really Are 
All joking aside, getting through a breakup would be infinitely more horrendous if you don’t have good friends who you can cry and lament with – and who will give you a good shot of self esteem when you need it, or a good shot of vodka if that doesn’t work. I have been thanking the powers that be for my friends every hour over this last couple of days – you guys ROCK!!

And the Number One Reason a Breakup is a Good Thing….
Oh, who am I kidding, this is a bunch of crap! Breakup’s suck – even if you know it was for the best. And if you’re going through one, I am sorry, just know that the pain will lesson over time – I hope…

“When you can’t wait any longer, But there’s no end in sight, It’s the faith that makes you stronger, The only way we get there is one step at a time, Take one step at a time there’s no need to rush, It’s like learning to fly or falling in love, It’s gonna happen and it’s supposed to happen, That we find the reasons why, one step at a time.”

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My Friend Roy's Love Story

This iz how it got start'd
Never knew it hurt'd
May be physically, may be mentally.
Made me grudge on love
--------------------------------------
Start'd on september
When i first saw her
She stood near a car
Which was way to far.
Over the fence, To take a chance
Stole a sideway glance
Mov'n a bit near
Got ma view clear.


Guess she slip'd into my Fantasy
But ter was no Fan 2 see,


A sudden stop, Ma mynd said 'hye'.


Let her go in her way
tryna keep ma mind away.


A year later....


Grew a bit smart'r
got hook'd up with her.
Got along more further 
crossed ma border...
Realized that later...!


Chill'd at the Park
till it got dark.
Made love with my talk
On a mountain top.


Hands always join'd together,
Whether Summer or Winter.


Fly'd like a feather 
High above all towers
Without any power
Wanna be wid ya Forever..!  

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The Ten Commandments

The Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:2-17 NKJV)
1	“I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house  of bondage. You shall have no other gods before Me.
2	“You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is  in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth;  you shall not bow down to them nor serve them.  For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on  the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me,  but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My Commandments.
3	“You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not  hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.
4	“Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work,  but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work:  you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant,  nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates.  For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea,  and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day.  Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it.
5	“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land  which the Lord your God is giving you.
6	“You shall not murder.
7	“You shall not commit adultery.
8	“You shall not steal.
9	“You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
10	“You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife,  nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything  that is your neighbor's.”

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What is Sin?

Sin is the condition or act by which a human person produces evil. Evil is suffering produced by either sin, disease, or accident. Suffering that leads to death and loss of relationship to God is the ultimate evil. The classic Christian list of seven deadly sins includes pride, covetousness, lust, envy, gluttony, anger, and sloth. Islam, led by the Qur'han, sees sin in terms of pride and opposition to God. Iblis or Satan provided the model for human sinning when he refused to obey God's command to prostrate himself before Adam. In an ancient Hindu-Buddhist myth of the fall a primordial disembodied mind living in the golden age descends into a physical body where desire, lust, passion, and covetousness prevail. Others follow, souls taking on flesh. Greed leads to stealing and violence, and the human soul becomes trapped in a physical world of temporal temptation from which it longs to escape to eternity.

Phenomenologically, evil is first experienced biologically as suffering. The most primitive awareness of sin takes the form of defilement, of external contamination deriving from physical contact with what is profane. Rituals of cleansing, usually with water, become the liturgical means for ridding the sinner of defilement. When this becomes internalized, defilement is associated with physical passions welling up from within, with carnal desires that tempt by threatening to overwhelm the rational mind by chaotic passion. Fleshly desires become identified with the lower nature, while mind or soul or spirit becomes identified with the higher nature. The higher nature is where the human will is lodged, and the highest form of sin is a freely willed act of evil.

The Hebrew and Christian scriptures advance no theory of sin, yet examples of sinning abound. Sins corrupt a person's whole heart, and total corruption requires total transformation or renewal by an act of divine grace. Sin applies to the individual heart as well as to a people or nation, warranting transformation of all things into a new creation.

Twentieth-century theologians and psychologists tended to associate the origin of sin with anxiety, anxiety understood existentially as feeling threatened by loss, threatened by dissolution into nonbeing. Death is nonbeing to a human, and the threat of death triggers in the human psyche a panic impulse to steal what it can from the imagined life force. In the moral sphere the pursuit of virtue becomes sinful, as those fleeing anxiety engage in self-justification and scapegoating. To define oneself as virtuous simultaneously requires assigning responsibility for the evil in the world to someone else, usually an enemy; this provides justification for decimating the enemy through gossip, lawsuits, war, or genocide.

Some religious theories associated with sin have been challenged during the era of modern science. The biblical story of Adam and Eve in paradise falling into sin, for example, has long been considered a historical event in Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, though interpreted quite differently. With the rise of evolutionary theory and deep time, the idea of a single pair of human progenitors has lost scientific credibility. No sinless paradise would be possible according to evolutionary theory because natural selection and survival of the fittest would necessarily apply at the point of origin. This dilemma has left theologians with two options. One is to deny acceptance to evolutionary theory, the path taken by scientific creationists in American Christianity and fundamentalist Muslims in Turkey. The other is to admit evolutionary theory and deny historicity to the Garden of Eden, the path followed by liberal Protestant Christian and Jewish commentators who see the Adam and Eve story as a myth describing everyday human activity.

A second challenge is indirect, the challenge to human free will from biological reductionism in genetics. During the era of the Human Genome Project, public belief in the determining power of DNA grew, and molecular biologists began to assign genes for not only physical traits but also predispositions to behavior. Antisocial behavior such as a propensity toward alcoholism, aggression, and violence were postulated as genetic in origin, as was homosexuality. Sociobiologists added the idea of the selfish gene, the principle that genes employ human bodies and human culture to insure their own replication through reproductionheir version of survival of the fittest. The fittest are those genes that bring their hosts to reproductive age. This idea allegedly explains why families and clans protect their own kin and are willing to prosecute war or even genocide against others. Moral behavior and religious practices became explainable as the result of genetic expression. Some scientists began to claim they had produced a biological explanation for original sin in the sense of an inherited propensity to survive to reproductive age even if it means perpetrating violence against genetic competitors.

The naturalistic question arises here for theologians. If theological interpretations of sin are compossible with genetic or other forms of biological determinism, one needs to ask: If something is natural is it good? If a doctrine of creation asserts that what exists presently in nature is due to God's will, then biological impulses even toward aggressive behavior must become normative. This is a theological version of what philosophers call the naturalistic fallacy: What is is what ought to be. However, much of traditional spirituality in Asia as well as the West has regarded human biological makeup as the source of misleading desire and dangerous passion; biological determinism would only increase religious resolve to pit the power of the spirit over the power of the flesh.

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The MAYAN calendar

Among their other accomplishments, the ancient Mayas invented a calendar of remarkable accuracy and complexity. At right is the ancient Mayan Pyramid Chichen Itza, Yucatan, Mexico. The Pyramid of Kukulkan at Chichén Itzá, constructed circa 1050 was built during the late Mayan period, when Toltecs from Tula became politically powerful. The pyramid was used as a calendar: four stairways, each with 91 steps and a platform at the top, making a total of 365, equivalent to the number of days in a calendar year.

The Maya calendar was adopted by the other Mesoamerican nations, such as the Aztecs and the Toltec, which adopted the mechanics of the calendar unaltered but changed the names of the days of the week and the months. An Aztec calendar stoneis shown above right.

The Maya calendar uses three different dating systems in parallel, the Long Count, the Tzolkin (divine calendar), and theHaab (civil calendar). Of these, only the Haab has a direct relationship to the length of the year.

A typical Mayan date looks like this: 12.18.16.2.6, 3 Cimi 4 Zotz.

12.18.16.2.6 is the Long Count date.

3 Cimi is the Tzolkin date.

4 Zotz is the Haab date

What is the Long Count?

The Long Count is really a mixed base-20/base-18 representation of a number, representing the number of days since the start of the Mayan era. It is thus akin to the Julian Day Number.

The basic unit is the kin (day), which is the last component of the Long Count. Going from right to left the remaining components are:

uinal	(1 uinal = 20 kin = 20 days)
tun	(1 tun = 18 uinal = 360 days = approx. 1 year)
katun	(1 katun = 20 tun = 7,200 days = approx. 20 years)
baktun	(1 baktun = 20 katun = 144,000 days = approx. 394 years)

The kin, tun, and katun are numbered from 0 to 19.

The uinal are numbered from 0 to 17.

The baktun are numbered from 1 to 13.

Although they are not part of the Long Count, the Mayas had names for larger time spans. The following names are sometimes quoted, although they are not ancient Maya terms:

1 pictun = 20 baktun = 2,880,000 days = approx. 7885 years

1 calabtun = 20 pictun = 57,600,000 days = approx. 158,000 years

1 kinchiltun = 20 calabtun = 1,152,000,000 days = approx. 3 million years

1 alautun = 20 kinchiltun = 23,040,000,000 days = approx. 63 million years

The alautun is probably the longest named period in any calendar.

When did the Long Count Start?

Logically, the first date in the Long Count should be 0.0.0.0.0, but as the baktun (the first component) are numbered from 1 to 13 rather than 0 to 12, this first date is actually written 13.0.0.0.0.

The authorities disagree on what 13.0.0.0.0 corresponds to in our calendar. I have come across three possible equivalences:

13.0.0.0.0 = 8 Sep 3114 BC (Julian) = 13 Aug 3114 BC (Gregorian)

13.0.0.0.0 = 6 Sep 3114 BC (Julian) = 11 Aug 3114 BC (Gregorian)

13.0.0.0.0 = 11 Nov 3374 BC (Julian) = 15 Oct 3374 BC (Gregorian)

Assuming one of the first two equivalences, the Long Count will again reach 13.0.0.0.0 on 21 or 23 December AD 2012 - a not too distant future.

The date 13.0.0.0.0 may have been the Mayas’ idea of the date of the creation of the world.

What is the Tzolkin?

The Tzolkin date is a combination of two "week" lengths.

While our calendar uses a single week of seven days, the Mayan calendar used two different lengths of week:

• a numbered week of 13 days, in which the days were numbered from 1 to 13
• a named week of 20 days, in which the names of the days were:

0. Ahau	1. Imix	2. Ik	3. Akbal	4. Kan
5. Chicchan	6. Cimi	7. Manik	8. Lamat	9. Muluc
10. Oc	11. Chuen	12. Eb	13. Ben	14. Ix
15. Men	16. Cib	17. Caban	18. Etznab	19. Caunac

The diagram at left shows the day symbols, in the same order as the table above.

As the named week is 20 days and the smallest Long Count digit is 20 days, there is synchrony between the two; if, for example, the last digit of today’s Long Count is 0, today must be Ahau; if it is 6, it must be Cimi. Since the numbered and the named week were both "weeks," each of their name/number change daily; therefore, the day after 3 Cimi is not 4 Cimi, but 4 Manik, and the day after that, 5 Lamat. The next time Cimi rolls around, 20 days later, it will be 10 Cimi instead of 3 Cimi. The next 3 Cimi will not occur until 260 (or 13 x 20) days have passed. This 260-day cycle also had good-luck or bad-luck associations connected with each day, and for this reason, it became known as the "divinatory year."

The "years" of the Tzolkin calendar are not counted.

When did the Tzolkin Start?

Long Count 13.0.0.0.0 corresponds to 4 Ahau. The authorities agree on this.

What is the Haab?

The Haab was the civil calendar of the Mayas. It consisted of 18 "months" of 20 days each, followed by 5 extra days, known asUayeb. This gives a year length of 365 days.

The names of the month were:

1. Pop	7. Yaxkin	13. Mac
2. Uo	8. Mol	14. Kankin
3. Zip	9. Chen	15. Muan
4. Zotz	10. Yax	16. Pax
5. Tzec	11. Zac	17. Kayab
6. Xul	12. Ceh	18. Cumku

In contrast to the Tzolkin dates, the Haab month names changed every 20 days instead of daily; so the day after 4 Zotz would be 5 Zotz, followed by 6 Zotz ... up to 19 Zotz, which is followed by 0 Tzec.

The days of the month were numbered from 0 to 19. This use of a 0th day of the month in a civil calendar is unique to the Maya system; it is believed that the Mayas discovered the number zero, and the uses to which it could be put, centuries before it was discovered in Europe or Asia.

The Uayeb days acquired a very derogatory reputation for bad luck; known as "days without names" or "days without souls," and were observed as days of prayer and mourning. Fires were extinguished and the population refrained from eating hot food. Anyone born on those days was "doomed to a miserable life."

The years of the Haab calendar are not counted.

The length of the Tzolkin year was 260 days and the length of the Haab year was 365 days. The smallest number that can be divided evenly by 260 and 365 is 18,980, or 365×52; this was known as the Calendar Round. If a day is, for example, "4 Ahau 8 Cumku," the next day falling on "4 Ahau 8 Cumku" would be 18,980 days or about 52 years later. Among the Aztec, the end of a Calendar Round was a time of public panic as it was thought the world might be coming to an end. When the Pleaides crossed the horizon on 4 Ahau 8 Cumku, they knew the world had been granted another 52-year extension.

When did the Haab Start?

Long Count 13.0.0.0.0 corresponds to 8 Cumku. The authorities agree on this.

Did the Mayas Think a Year Was 365 Days?

Although there were only 365 days in the Haab year, the Mayas were aware that a year is slightly longer than 365 days, and in fact, many of the month-names are associated with the seasons; Yaxkin, for example, means "new or strong sun" and, at the beginning of the Long Count, 1 Yaxkin was the day after the winter solstice, when the sun starts to shine for a longer period of time and higher in the sky. When the Long Count was put into motion, it was started at 7.13.0.0.0, and 0 Yaxkin corresponded with Midwinter Day, as it did at 13.0.0.0.0 back in 3114 B.C.E. The available evidence indicates that the Mayas estimated that a 365-day year precessed through all the seasons twice in 7.13.0.0.0 or 1,101,600 days.

We can therefore derive a value for the Mayan estimate of the year by dividing 1,101,600 by 365, subtracting 2, and taking that number and dividing 1,101,600 by the result, which gives us an answer of 365.242036 days, which is slightly more accurate than the 365.2425 days of the Gregorian calendar.

(This apparent accuracy could, however, be a simple coincidence. The Mayas estimated that a 365-day year precessed through all the seasons twice in 7.13.0.0.0 days. These numbers are only accurate to 2-3 digits. Suppose the 7.13.0.0.0 days had corresponded to 2.001 cycles rather than 2 cycles of the 365-day year, would the Mayas have noticed?)

In ancient times, the Mayans had a tradition of a 360-day year. But by the 4th century B.C.E. they took a different approach than either Europeans or Asians. They maintained three different calendars at the same time. In one of them, they divided a 365-day year into eighteen 20-day months followed by a five-day period that was part of no month. The five-day period was considered to be unlucky.

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Just You , Just Me..

Just you , Just me..
Thats all we need,


I wanna talk to you ,
tell me everything you do,
whats your favourite game,
temme whats your name.


It might be an ad.
But has a lotta love  , true love in it...

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CHRIST fR3aK

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